As much as your romantic heart thinks it, being alive and being in love are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes you could be looking for someone who is long dead, and sometimes someone could be looking for you when you are the one long dead.
I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love.